The longest, yet quickest 364 days I think I have experienced in my lifetime.
It's hard to imagine, just one year ago today, I would take the last selfie and picture of our handsome, happy Holston. That day we had to go into to meet his teachers for a parent teacher conference to discuss his behavior. I distinctly remember David saying something along the lines of this to his teacher and director of the school, " We can't put him in a box, or destroy his spirit because a boy like this will change the world." Little did we know, not even 24 hours later, his name would be know and his life would make an impact on our family,friends & community.
(4.25.16 me and Holston)
I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to be Holston's mama. Even in my darkest, deepest moments, I'm thankful God chose us to walk through this story of child loss. I'm grateful for God's consistent peace during it all. I'm grateful for the large circle of people who still gather around us in prayer. Even in all my gratefulness, the ache of my heart still longs for this child. His ways are not meant for our understanding. I don't understand why we were only blessed with Holston's presence for 3 years, but I do understand the ways The Lord is using Holstons life and life in Heaven for good.
As I write this, I am blessed with the sweet kicks of his baby brother in my belly. I can only imagine them two playing together and growing up together, how much louder our house would be. Thinking of the blessings we have, one verse comes to mind:
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3 .
This verse is such a reminder that He is the one who gave us our children and it is in His hands to take them away. We aren't granted one thing in this life, and that is when our earthly life will end.
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom andi knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out! Romans 11:33
I'm so thankful for God's provision. He is continuing to guide us along with his grace, mercy and hope. He is continuing to pull us closer and closer to him so we know we aren't alone. God already gave us such sweet treasures in the form of children and the most important, ultimate gift, Jesus himself! The days are hopefully going to continue to pass quickly, yet enough time for us to see all of God's joy in each moment, until the ONE glorious day when eternity arrives!! That moment I'll get to meet Jesus face to face along with my precious Holston! I know I probably talk about this a lot, but it's where my eyes are focused. It's really the only way I can walk forward each day, is that hope for eternity.
<3 Haley, Twin Mama Plus ONE ( plus one)
