4 years a mama

(3.31.16,He just devoured a cupcake)

      4 years ago today, this precious face made me a mama! Our own little piece of Heaven on earth came in the form of 7 pounds 13 ounces on the most precious Holiday, EASTER! I knew Gods realness was present more than ever when I held His sweet promise to us that afternoon. I knew, I knew, I knew that this boy would be born on Easter. I just felt it. I like to think God gave me that feeling. Which made becoming a mama even more precious knowing Jesus rose from the grave that day. He came 2013 years prior to save me and all of us from our sins! What a sweet, precious,free gift!!

Days, weeks, and months go by, and this boy taught me many lessons. He went through 2 surgeries before the age of two, and those surgeries were traumatic to all of us when he was coming out of sedation. He was in therapy for speech and behavior, well basically because his mind was racing and he had so much zest for life on the daily that we (really I) didn't know how to handle him. But the things he taught me most of all, was(is) to love fearlessly and enjoy what blessings surround us. He really didn't get the word no, it was more like not right now. His little self was always on the go ready to see what else he could tackle, or climb, or get into.

I long to hold and cuddle this sweet soul again, I know I say it in every blog post, but the feeling is so strong and real. I can only imagine the goodness he gets to experience today in Heaven, no sin, no fear, no shame, just love and goodness and much more than our minds can imagine. I want to celebrate his 3 year life that was loaned to us by God today and every day. I want to celebrate the fact that I will get to experience him again since this is just our temporary home. I'll get to see him and spend eternity with my sweet child, and hopefully all my children and family members. He may not be here in the flesh any longer, but knowing that forever I'll experience eternity with him, is such a sweet promise.

Since Heaven gained Holston, my prayer life and longing to be in a deeper relationship with God has brought me closer to God. Sometimes God really has to walk us through a tragedy to draw us closer to him. My devotional this morning was exactly this message. Here's a piece of it:

"The storms of sorrow through bereavement are intense, but they are one of the Father's ways of driving me to Himself. His purpose is to softly and tenderly speak to my heart in the secret, hidden place of His presence. There is a certain glory of the Master that can only be seen when the wind is contrary and my ship is being tossed by the waves.

Jesus Christ is not my security against the storms of life, but He is my perfect security in the storms of life. He has never promised me an easy passage, only a safe landing.

Oh, set your sail to the heavenly gale,
And then, no matter what winds prevail,
No reef can wreck you, no calm delay;
No mist will hinder, no storm will slay;
Though far you wander and long you roam
Through salt sea sprays and o'er white sea foam,
No wind can blow but that will speed you Home.
                                                    Annie Johnson Flint "
Devotional by Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman


Alright, off to continue the  celebration of this sweet precious face who made me a mama, drove me deeper to God and taught me many lessons. Happy Birthday Holston. <3 Haley


(( P.S. I am sooooo grateful for my friends who helped keep me occupied and celebrated Holstons life with me today! I don't know how I have been dealt so many amazing, God loving friends, but I sure do appreciate you all! 😘 The loving texts and phone calls have helped too. Xoxo))